1、This blog...is the story of two men and their, frankly, ridiculous adventures. Of murder, mystery and mayhem. But from now on, there’s a new story. A bigger adventure.
这个博客……坦率地说，是两个男人之间的故事，以及他们荒谬的冒险，关于谋杀、推理和破坏。但是从现在开始，一个新的故事要开始了。一个更大的冒险。
Ladies and gentlemen,女士们先生们，Pray charge your glasses and be upstanding. Today begin the adventures of Mary Elizabeth Watson and John Hamish Watson.
倒满你们的酒杯，站起来。今天就要开始玛丽·伊丽莎白华生和约翰·哈米什·华生共同的冒险。
The thrill of the chase, the blood pumping through your veins, just the two of us against the rest of the world.
追寻罪犯的快感令人血脉喷张，我们两人对阵整个世界。
I won't insult your intelligence by explaining it to you.
我就不给你解释了，省得说我侮辱你智商。
John, I am a ridiculous man. Redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship.
约翰，我是个荒谬的人，却被你的热情和对友谊的忠贞拯救了。
The problems of your past are your business. The problems of your future are my privilege.
你的过去我不愿过问，那是你的事情;你的未来我希望参与，这是我的荣幸。
To the very best of times, John.
致那些最好的时光，约翰。
Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, and...um, others:
女士们先生们，家人们朋友们，还有……其他人：
John Watson. My friend John Watson. John... When John first broached the subject of being Best Man, I was confused.
约翰·华生，我的朋友，约翰·华生。约翰……约翰提出让我做伴郎的时候，我很困惑。
I confess at first I didn’t realize he was asking me, when finally I understood I expressed to him that I was both flattered and surprised. I nonetheless promised that I would do my very best to accomplish a task which was, for me, as demanding and difficult as any I had ever contemplated. Additionally, I thanked him for the trust he placed in me and indicated that I was, in some ways, very close to being moved by it.
我承认刚开始，我没有意识到他是在请我做伴郎，后来当我明白了。我向他表示我很荣幸也很惊喜。但是我承诺会竭尽全力完成任务。这项任务对我来说比之前遇到的更具挑战更艰难。另外，非常感谢他对我的信任。在某种程度上，我几乎被感动了。
I’m afraid John, I can’t congratulate you. All emotions and in particular love, stand opposed to the pure, cold reason I hold above all things. A wedding is, in my considered opinion, nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world. Today we honor the deathwatchbeetle that is the doom of our society and in time one feels certain our entire species. But anyway, let’s talk about John.
恐怕我不能恭喜你，约翰。所有的情感，尤其是爱，与纯粹冷静的理智相违背。而我认为这种理智高于一切。在我的信念中，婚礼简直就是为了庆祝这个病态的道德败坏的世界中一切虚伪、华而不实、荒谬、感伤的东西。今天我们是在庆祝宣告死亡的蛀虫，它注定了我们社会的消亡。也注定了整个人类的灭亡。但是，我们还是谈谈约翰吧。
If I burden myself with a little helpmate during my adventures, this is not out of sentiment or caprice, it is that he has many fine qualities of his own, that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes in turn, From the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides. It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favor exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. There is a certain analogy there, I feel, and contrast is, after all, God’s own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation. Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.
如果我在旅途中增加一个负担找个帮手，这个不会是出于情感需要或是心血来潮。而是由于他本身的一些美好品质。只不过由于迷恋我而忽视了。的确，大家都知道我精神敏锐。事实上，这不过是和约翰对比出来的，约翰无私地提供了如此强烈的对比。我相信，事实上，新娘总是愿意选择姿色平庸的伴娘，我觉得这也是一种对比。但是，毕竟对比是上帝展现他的创造之美的一种手段。或者上帝并不是可笑的幻想。为结婚的傻瓜们提供了职业机会。
The point I’m trying to make is that I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant, and all round obnoxious asshole that anyone could possibly have misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of the beautiful and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. So if I didn’t understand I was being asked to be Best Man. It is because I never expected to be anybody’s best friend. And certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing.